20 Things I’ve Learned at 34: Life, Motherhood & Growth Reflections
As I turn 34, I’ve been reflecting on the lessons I’ve picked up throughout the different seasons of my life—modeling from a young age, becoming a mom, moving to the suburbs, launching businesses, and everything in between. Some are big shifts in perspective, others are tiny truths that have stuck with me. Wherever you are in your journey, I hope a few of these resonate or help you feel less alone.
1. Don’t compare your pregnancy, postpartum, or motherhood journey.
I struggled with postpartum depression and anxiety, and it seemed like no one else did. But the truth is, people aren’t always honest about how hard it is. Get help where you can – it will get better.
2. Your body will change, but you’ll find a new way to respect and appreciate it.
Instead of forcing myself to “love” my postpartum body, I focus on gratitude for what it’s done.
3. It’s okay to feel a little lost in motherhood.
Instead of forcing myself to “love” my postpartum body, I focus on gratitude for what it’s done.
4. Getting dressed is a free antidepressant.
I’m always shocked by how much putting on an outfit I love shifts my mood. Dress for the job and the energy you want!
5. Your size does not define you.
My younger self needed to hear this: A change in size isn’t a failure. Bodies fluctuate due to stress, pregnancy, postpartum, and life in general. Don’t get attached to the numbers – they mean nothing.
6. Knowing how to do your own makeup is empowering.
Just like putting on an outfit I love, doing my hair and makeup boosts my mood and helps me show up as my best self.
7. Confidence isn’t taught – it’s built.
It’s taken me years to truly feel confident, and most of that confidence came from doing hard things I didn’t want to do.
8. It’s okay to let go of people.
Priorities change, and relationships evolve. I’ve made a conscious effort to surround myself with people who uplift and inspire me.
9. Your relationship will change after kids – don’t panic.
The first six months postpartum were rough both times, but with time and effort, we found our new normal.
10. Making new friends as an adult is like dating.
You have to be intentional, reach out, make plans, and nurture the connection. It won’t happen passively.
11. Stop waiting for motivation, inspiration, or the ‘right time.’
Take small steps and start now.
12. You are responsible for your own life
No one is going to fix it, save it, or kick-start it for you. Take charge of your happiness, success, and well-being. (Still working on this one, but it’s a practice!)
13. Beauty is holistic.
When I neglect my emotional and spiritual well-being, I see it on the outside. Taking care of my inner world reflects in my outer world.
14. Asking for help is a strength, not a weakness.
I used to white-knuckle through hard moments, especially in early motherhood. I regret not being kinder to that version of myself.
15. A 10-minute walk can change everything.
Whether alone or with a friend, stepping away shifts my perspective. Some of my best ideas come to me when I’m walking.
16. Cooking is self-care.
Moving to the suburbs forced me to cook more, and though it took time (and some bad meals), it became a creative, confidence-boosting ritual. Now, I love nourishing my family with homemade meals.
17. It’s okay to change your mind.
I used to stress about finding my “passion” or “purpose,” but these things evolve. I’ve been a model, content creator, business owner, and podcaster—trying new things kept my career moving forward.
18. Trust your gut.
My co-founder and I were often swayed by outside opinions, but deep down, we always knew the right answer. Owning a business is like motherhood – you just know.
19. Your next chapter can be more gratifying than your first.
I assumed that once I turned 30 and had kids, my modeling career was over. Instead, I feel more inspired and creatively fulfilled than ever.
20. Define success for yourself.
I’m not traveling the world 24/7 or on a Vogue cover every month, and that used to bother me. But now, success means flexibility, creativity, contributing to my household, and spending time with my kids.
16. Cooking is self-care.
Moving to the suburbs forced me to cook more, and though it took time (and some bad meals), it became a creative, confidence-boosting ritual. Now, I love nourishing my family with homemade meals.
17. It’s okay to change your mind.
I used to stress about finding my “passion” or “purpose,” but these things evolve. I’ve been a model, content creator, business owner, and podcaster—trying new things kept my career moving forward.
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