What I’ve Learned as a Mom of Two

Wellness

Jun 25

Oliver’s 2nd Birthday
Motherhood, Round Two: What I’ve Learned Along the Way

Before I had Oliver, I thought I was getting the hang of this parenting thing. My firstborn? A total angel. Slept through the night early, barely cried, never threw tantrums—just a little princess floating through toddlerhood.

And then… my sweet, sweet Oliver.
Loud. Strong-willed. Tantrums since 10 months old. He came into this world with big feelings and has made sure we all know exactly what they are.

Sweet, sour, and completely unpredictable. One minute he’s launching himself off the couch, the next he’s burrowing into my arms for a hug.

That Moment Everyone Talks About

The second I saw Oliver, I just knew him. It was like I had loved him in another life—like he had always been mine, and I had just been waiting for him to find his way back to me.

Honestly, I didn’t have that moment with my firstborn. With her, I was drowning in postpartum anxiety. I loved her, of course, but bonding felt hard. The guilt ate me up for so long. But over time, our connection grew, and now our bond is so powerful and deep. So when I had that instant connection with Oliver, I felt relieved.

Not just because I finally understood what moms talk about, but because I learned love shows up and evolves in different ways—each equally beautiful.

Same Parenting, Two Different Kids

I was one of those cliché and delusional parents who thought if I raised my kids the same way, they’d turn out the same. Wrong.
Same house. Same rules. Same food. Same caretakers. Completely different humans.

One is careful, one is wild. One listens, one challenges everything. One wakes up like a Disney princess, the other like a grumpy old man who needs coffee.

At this point, I don’t know if this is a boy mom thing or a second-born thing, but either way—it’s a thing.3. It’s okay to feel a little lost in motherhood.

Instead of forcing myself to “love” my postpartum body, I focus on gratitude for what it’s done.

Reparenting Myself Through My Toddler’s Big Feelings

Oliver feels everything so deeply—his joy, his frustration, his independence. And honestly? I get it.

I used to think my job was to teach him how to handle emotions, but really, he’s teaching me.

When he’s frustrated, I recognize that same feeling in myself. When he’s overwhelmed, I know that feeling, too. Instead of shutting him down, I try to meet him where he is. To show him that his feelings aren’t too much—they’re safe, he’s safe.

And in doing that, I’m reparenting myself a little, too. Still a work in progress, but nothing forces you to evolve quite like your children.

The Big Question: Do I Want a Third?

Some days, I think yes. I could do this again—one more tiny human to love. But after a miscarriage, it’s been a longer journey to figure out what I want our family to look like. Do I want to try again?
I can’t quite shake the feeling that we might not be done. Only time will tell, and I’m trying to be patient with myself as I navigate the mix of emotions.

The Beautiful Chaos

At the end of the day, Oliver’s hugs, his giggles, and his wild, fearless love make every challenging moment worth it. I wouldn’t change a single thing about him.

So here’s to life as a boy mom—and girl moms too.
Loud, wild, and full of love.